Kinda of a first timer writing a story...I would like you know what you think?

Honestly, I think you should write a little, more, simplistic at the beginning. A lot of large, words can turn a reader off. Also, cut out a bit of the descriptions of her feelings. I got the point after the heartache part. It does intrigue me to see how it turns out and what happens next, but alas, with these forums.. I may never know. Good Luck